Strava ready. (Photo credit: Pop Up Races.)

Stablemate and Fanta-fanatic James “the Destroyer” Doran (40 🙄) won the Buttevant RC 4 Mile Road Race, romping home with a stunning 20:45 in “sunny” Cork. 

Ally “the Chin” Smith was on the lookout for a guy with a “weather-beaten whippet who’s had a hard paper round and is presently chewing a wasp-style countenance” (as Stazza put it), and he was aghast when he came face-to-face with the Destroyer himself:

“Holy mother of mackerel! James?”

“Hahahaha, in the flesh.”

“OK, then; how’d it go?”

“The weather was ideal, and although it wasn’t a PB, I’m very happy with the time on a challenging course.”

Don’t say it’s the shoes! (Photo credit: Buttevant RC.)

“Super stuff, James. Anything else?” 

“Very well-organised event by Buttevant RC. Nice to win the team section and happy with the effort. Hopefully, it’ll push me on now over the next few months.”

There’s no “i” in “team.” (Photo credit: Buttevant RC.)

“I’m sure it will, ma man. When are you back in action?”

“I’ve got a few events lined up before the end of 2023. Right now, I’ll just focus on training and let the races take care of themselves.”

“Sounds like a plan! Well done, again, on the win today, and I’ll catch up with you soon.”

“Thanks, Ally.”

The Stablemaster was composing a very special mixtape (Now That’s What I Call Jellybaby! Vol 1) complete with top classics such as Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s Get It On,” Boyzone’s “Love Me for a Reason,” and his all-time favourite, B*Witched’s “C’est La Vie”:

“I’ll huff …  I’ll puff …  I’ll huff, I’ll puff, I’ll blow you away! What a tune! … Jellybaby’s gonna love this little memento. I first heard it while travelling with James Doran to the European Masters Athletics Championships in Cesenatico, back in 1998, and it’s been on my trusty Eiger MPMan F10 ever since! And the old Destroyer is still showing the young bucks how it’s done. Just over 20 minutes for a tough four-miler shows there’s plenty of life in the old dog yet! What are you like?”