THE GREATEST SHOWMAN

Stablemate “Killie” Chris Beattie realised his dreams at the Dublin Marathon, going sub-3 in a pure-dead-brilliant 2:59:08, giving his PB the malky in the process as he slashed eight minutes off his former best. Gid stuff!

The Kilmarnock lad has gone a bit soft since moving down south, describing the day as “a wet one.” Get back up the road, and you’ll know what wet is, Beattie! The Killie boy placed 734^th overall and 218^th M40. 

The Stable News’ very own Wildean scholar, Ally “the Chin” Smith, was pacing back and forth in Merrion Square Park, frantically checking his watch:

Ally: Right, that’s 2:58:50; he must be close! And there he is: YES, CHRIS, COME ON! 

Ya dancer! He’s done it! Yes, man! Chris? Chris, come over here and give me all the juicy details.

Chris: Hey, Ally. Long time, mate! Hope all’s good. I was training for sub-3 but had a shaky three weeks in the block with an injury. So by the time I got to the line, I was just going to see how I felt on the day, but had realistic expectations (especially on a hilly course) that it may be 3:05-3:10. 

Ally: Wise thinking.

Chris: I started in the first wave, but way, way, back (due to queueing for toilets). So I couldn’t even see the sub-3 pacers, and for the first 3km, I was stuck in at a much slower pace with no room. I tried not to panic and just settled in. I told myself, Calm down; it’s not the worst thing to just ease really slowly into it until there was space to pass and get into a rhythm. 

Ally: Always the way with these mass mara’s, mate. At least you took the sensible approach and started slower, rather than trying to whizz by everyone. Go on.

Chris: Keeping fairly relaxed up the hills and making some of the time back from the start on the downhills, I passed halfway in just under 1:30:30. I had burst two gels and dropped another, so I had to call ahead to the wife to hand me some at just before 13.1. Got a few strange looks being on the phone! 

Ally: Ha-ha, I bet. Well done to Mrs Beattie for having spare sustenance to hand.

Chris: As always, things started to get tough in the last 10km, but I just focused on getting up the hill at 22 miles that I’d been told about. I got to about 5 or 6km to go and asked the girl next to me, “Where’s this big hill that everyone talks about?” And she said, “It’s just by!” 

This gave me a massive boost because I really expected something I’d be hiking up! 

Ally: A nice wee surprise, deep into the suffering—great stuff.

Chris: The last 2km was the most horrid in any race I’ve ever had. I knew at that point I had very little time banked to get under three hours, so I couldn’t take my foot off the gas. All I thought about was everything coming down to the next eight minutes or so. That last stretch of 400m was the only time I realised sub-3 was happening.

Going over the finish line in 2:59 was by far my greatest accomplishment in running so far. I’d daydreamed about that moment for too long, and it felt better than I thought it would. I’m still not over it. 😂 I’ll be telling my tale over wine at Christmas to every family member who will listen.

Ally: Absolutely brilliant, man. I’m pure buzzing for you; what an incredible achievement. Although I think you’ll be left alone in the kitchen once a few of the family have heard the story. Anything else planned, or are you just going to revel in this for a bit?

Chris: Ha-ha, I think you’re right about Christmas. The plan is to get faster over the shorter distances until the summer and then tackle Berlin (or another flat marathon) in autumn 2024.

Ally: Perfect. I’ll let you go and enjoy yourself—I’ve a whack of Stablemates to see here.

Chris: Thanks, Ally.

The Stablemaster was blasting Runrig’s timeless classic “Loch Lomond” from his 1980s Technics hi-fi: 

“You’ll take the high road and Chris’ll take the low road … Stick that in yer pipe and smoke it! … Chris paced it to perfection … Easing off and not panicking at the start saved his legs for the first 10km uphill … And then when the downhill came, it was game on! … Congratulations, Chris; you’ve earned it.”